Bookable Offense's 5th Annual English Premier League Awards Spectacular

Welcome a special presentation of Bookable Offense's 5th Annual English Premier League Awards Spectacular! Today our hosts, Brian Thompson and Bryce Campbell, will hand out awards recognizing outstanding achievement and distinction from the 2005/06 EPL season. We'll also acknowledge those who came up a bit short this season in our "Worst Of" categories. Winners will be eligible for a gift certificate at The Laughing Halibut, London's finest purveyor of fish and chips, located in the heart of Westminster. Without further adieu, let's get to the awards!

Most Surprising Team

Brian: There are a few candidates for this one, including Blackburn and Wigan. But I have to give the award to West Ham United. The Hammers made an impressive return to top-flight football with a top-half finish, a trip to the FA Cup Final, and a place in the UEFA Cup next season. Just think what this team could have been had they not been forced to sell Joe Cole, Jermaine Defoe, and Michael Carrick!

Bryce: Anytime a newly promoted side manages to stay up its a major achievement. But when a team does it in its first ever appearance in the top flight, and manages to finish in the top half, that's simply sensational. They play rugby in Wigan, not football, afterall. I give the nod to the over-achieving Wigan Athletic.

Most Disappointing Team

Bryce: Several clubs went into the 2005/2006 campaign with high aspirations and failed miserably to achieve them. Middlesbrough were a prime candidate, but given their FA and UEFA Cup successes, this dubious distinction falls to Everton. Champions League qualifiers from a season ago (remember?), this season they finished closer to the relegation zone than a repeat trip to Europe's greatest club competition.

Brian: For about 3/4 of the season, the winner of this award was Newcastle Utd. And if I wanted to make this award about lack of improvement versus money spent, I could make an argument for Chelsea. But I'll hand this one out to another team that spends money and gets no results, Aston Villa. Surely it's time for David O'Leary to go.

Worst Manager

Brian: I will fully defer to Bryce in handing out this award...

Bryce: While his abysmal performance was thankfully cut short, any disagreement with handing out this award to (or even renaming it in the honor of) Graeme Souness would be absurd.

Best Manager

Bryce: There are many worthy candidates for this award every year. Jewell, Mourinho, and Roeder all spring to mind. I still think the most dynamic performance by an EPL manager this year was Harry Redknapp of Portsmouth. Turning that relegation-bound club back into a Premiership side was nothing short of miraculous.

Brian: In his first full season in charge, Martin Jol has turned perennial underachievers Tottenham Hotspur into a formidable squad that came within three points of a Champions League place. Now the goal is to keep moving up the table instead of taking a step or two back.

Best New Signing

Brian: There weren't many blockbuster moves this past offseason, but I'll hand this one out to Edwin Van der Sar at Manchester United. Goalkeeping was a serious problem for Sir Alex last season, so he went out and swooped up Holland's #1 for only £2 million. Van der Sar has been the best goalie in the EPL this season and has steadied United's defensive woes.

Bryce: Sir Alex certainly did well for himself there, but who could deny the impact of Craig Bellamy at Blackburn? The Rovers are headed for the UEFA Cup next season thanks in great part to their speedy Welsh striker. That he left Newcastle because of Souness is incidental.

Worst New Signing

Bryce: Albert Luque cost Newcastle United £9.5 million, and gave them 1 goal. Not a good rate of return. However, Shawn Wright-Phillips moved to Chelsea for £21 million and didn't find the back of the net once. Maybe this award will help take the sting out of missing out on England's World Cup roster....

Brian: We agree on this one - it has to go to Shawn Wright-Phillips, a player Jose Mourinho did not want and it showed, as he spent most of the year at the end of the bench and will be watching the World Cup on TV with the rest of us this summer.

Worst Player on a Good Team

Brian: I'm handing this one out to three guys - Peter Crouch, Djibril Cisse, and Fernando Morientes of Liverpool. Liverpool's scoring was so anemic that they went nearly two months without getting a goal from any of their forwards in midseason, and they even had to dust off Robbie Fowler to find them some goals.

Bryce: While it pains me to think that I might be painted a Newcastle-centric observer of the English game, I feel I have no choice here in my naming of Jean-Alain Boumsong. Their 7th place finish in the table qualifies them as a good team, and he certainly qualifies as their worst player.

Best Player on a Bad Team

Bryce: While Jermaine Pennant deserves mention for his occasional displays of brilliance for an otherwise morbid Birmingham City club, I think this award belongs in the hands of Jonathan Greening. Give the poor man someone to meet his crosses, please!

Brian: I prefer watching attractive football, so I try not to watch bad teams play. Darren Bent certainly put up the big numbers, but I'll go with one of my very favourites, Steed Malbranque of Fulham. He's a classy player who can take over games and deserves a chance with the French national team.

Best New Kit

Brian: Without a doubt, this one goes to Arsenal for their beautifully crisp redcurrant and white home kit. This was a special kit to commemorate the final season at Highbury, and this kit was one of many classy moves by the club to celebrate their rich history and tradition.

Bryce: I usually let Brian handle these fashion questions, but to continue the pattern I'll disagree here and say Chelsea. The champs added some highlights in the trim that just scream back-to-back championship class. I will now go throw myself out the nearest window.

Worst New Kit

Bryce: With an honorable mention to Liverpool for their awful Champions League get-ups, I have to insist Manchester United takes home this coveted prize for their atrocious blue road kits. Is Spiderman really still that popular in the Manchester area?

Brian: I do love the fashion awards, and I'm pleased to report that there weren't many horrible kits this year. This award should be competitive next season, with most of the league coming out with new home kits. But I'll give this year's award to Liverpool's Champions League kit with the gold "raindrops" going diagonally across the front and back.

The David Beckham Hairstyle Award

Brian: Normally I tend to give this one out to Patrick Berger, hands down. But this year, I'll award it to Graham Kavanagh of Wigan. Kavanagh has a traditional buzz cut, but with a silver-coloured "wave" of hair in the very front.

Bryce: Tough to top that one, but I after serious consideration for Cisse's ever-changing bleach-jobs in Liverpool, I have to say Morten Gamst Pederson of Blackburn gets my vote.

Best Defender

Bryce: John Terry is the safe pick here. Carragher deserves a mention, but in the end, I don't think you can argue with the selection of the Chelsea captain.

Brian: Why go with a safe pick? The best defender in the Premiership this season is Arsenal's Kolo Toure. Toure has transitioned from a midfielder to a world class defender. Whilst the Arsenal offense has been inconsistent at times, the Gunners' defense has been stellar, and Toure is the reason why.

Thanks for the Memories Award

Brian: As Arsenal fans like to remind us in song, there's only one Dennis Bergkamp, and at age 37, he's hanging up his boots after the Champions League final. Bergkamp was a player of the utmost class and skill, and perhaps more than any other player is responsible for Arsenal's rise to the elite of the EPL in the past 10 years. Many English pundits have said Bergkamp is the greatest foreign player to ever grace the English game. It should also be noted that he was one of the first foreigners to move to England following the lifting of the Heysel ban.

Bryce: Well, I understand your biased opinion towards Bergkamp. He was a good player. But the league will miss Alan Shearer a great deal more. Long the epitome of a center-forward for club and country (not being afraid to fly helped), Big Al even scored the game-winner today in his testimonial. As always, he showed he knows just how to finish.

Most Underrated Player

Bryce: My short list for this award included the likes of Michael Carrick (disqualified for making the England roster), Scott Parker (can't give every award to Magpies), and the butt of so many jokes, Harry Kewel. In the end, I think this award belongs on the mantel of Charlton's Darren Bent. How a young man can score more goals than any of his countrymen and still not make the World Cup team is beyond me.

Brian: Bent is a good choice, but the best player no one pays attention to is Bolton's Kevin Nolan. He's one of the best all-around players in the game, and always seems to score clutch goals. Why he doesn't get a chance with the England team is beyond me.

Best Young Player

Brian: The English game is blessed with young talent, but I'm handing this one out to Liverpool's Mohamed Sissoko. Sissoko, only 21, is exactly what the Liverpool midfield needed - a defensive, ball winning midfielder who would allow Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso to push forward and score goals. Sissoko, who has overcome a scary eye injury, has turned out dominant performances and looks to stay with the Reds for a long, long time.

Bryce: Um, that Rooney kid isn't bad. I think he probably deserves this one. Honorable mentions to Aaron Lennon, Nigel Reo-Coker, Sissoko, and that Fabregas kid, the youngest of the bunch.

Player of the Year

Bryce: Best player on the best team in the country: Frank Lampard. After all, as the song goes, "He's Super-Frank, Super-Frank, he's Super-Franky." Leading a team in goals from the midfield position is impressive (assuming you're not talking about Sunderland) and this is a team that lead the league in goals scored. He won't be alone in hoping that his form continues this summer for England.

Brian: Simply stated, Arsenal would be a mid-table team without Thierry Henry. He's the best player in the English game, and yet again he's led the league in goals. He has inspired the Gunners all the way to the Champions League final. The man has no peer.

And that wraps up our awards spectacular! Thank you for joining us on this special night. Drive home safe!

Agree or disagree with our pundits? Let us know at bookableoffense@gmail.com.