Running Diary - England v. Trinidad & Tobago

Welcome, boys and girls, to Bookable Offense's first ever running diary. I haven't a clue if this will be worthwhile for you (our faithful readers) or for me (it's Brian here, of course. Bryce is still missing). But like Wayne Rooney, I'm going to give it a go today and see what happens. I just realized that I don't have the luxury of using my Tivo today, so I'll have to be especially sharp. Here's how this will work: I'll spout off with my thoughts as the action occurs. That's about it. Enjoy.


8:51am: ESPN's "A" team of Dave O'Brien and Marcelo Balboa welcome us to Nuremberg for today's Group B clash between Trinidad & Tobago and England! Oh happy day, we've got O'Brien and Balboa. Perhaps O'Brien will remind us again that David Beckham is a good crosser of the ball. You see, I knew Beckham was a good crosser of the ball thanks to O'Brien reminding us of it about 50 times during the Paraguay game. It looks like I won't be getting much commentary help today, so I'll be alone up front.

8:54am: Nice! The little boy escorting Beckham to the pitch has one of the meanest faux-hawks I've seen. Becks should be proud.

8:56am: I just noticed England keeper Paul Robinson is wearing Nike gloves even though England is an Umbro team. Apparently Umbro's legal department doesn't have as much time on its hands as adidas' does. German keeper Jens Lehmann was threatened with legal action if he didn't wear adidas equipment, since adidas is the official supplier of the Germans. Nice to see we've taken the commercial aspect out of the World Cup.

8:58am: Time for starting lineups. Only change for England is Carragher in for the injured Gary Neville. For Trinidad & Tobago (which I'll now be calling T&T), a switch from a 4-5-1 to a 4-4-2. Saturday's hero, Shaka Hislop, remains in goal.

9:00am: Nuremberg's stadium looks smaller than many of the others used in this tournament. But it's packed and the English are in full song. I remember in high school asking my instructor, a surly old priest, where the Nuremberg trials were held after WWII. It turns out they were held in Nuremberg!

9:01am: We're under way!

9:02am: O'Brien adds something of value. He tells us that if T&T pulls off the upset, a spirits producer on the island will give each player and the coach a barrel of fine rum. How long would it take one to drink a whole barrel of rum? I'll have to check in with my buddy Marco on that one. Don't use all of your good material too soon, O'Brien!

9:03am: We're only three minutes in and already the England midfield is being outplayed. OK, I'm bitter, I know. But if England can't figure out how to hold the ball in midfield and pass it around a little, they're going home early. It's as simple as that.

9:04am: Beckham wins the ball, but gives Gerrard a pass that leads straight to a turnover. Big surprise.

9:06am: First great chance for England. Lampard fires a 30 yarder. Hislop parries, and the ball bounces straight to Owen, who can't control it to put an effort on goal. Good chance. Hard to fault Owen on that one, for once.

9:07am: After being applauded on Saturday for not doing so, the English fans are already humming the theme from "The Great Escape" only seven minutes into the match. The song has WWII connotations, about a group of POW's escaping from a German camp. The last thing one should ever do is praise the English for their good behavior. That's just insulting! Perhaps we can hear "10 German Bombers" next!

9:09am: Funny how Joe Cole, the least famous of the England midfield, has turned out to be England's best player.

9:10am: Balboa tells us how surprised he is at England's negative approach. Apparently he hasn't seen England play much the last five years.

9:13am: It's a hot day in Nuremberg, but Becks is again wearing long sleeves. You see, the Japanese, who actually still see Becks as a bit of an icon, don't like tattoos. So Becks wears long sleeves out of respect to the Japanese. That's a bit of insight from yours truly. Where were you on that one, O'Brien!

9:15am: Owen looks to be a bit sharper today. He's actually winning balls up front. But he's quickly giving up possession and passing very poorly. So, it's the Owen of old! He's back!

9:16am: England come close. Joe Cole crosses in from the left, Crouch gets to it, but doesn't get all of it. All of England's quality chances come from the left these days.

9:18am: Cole (again) sends a cutting pass into the box. Gerrard is held just outside the box. Free kick for Becks, and a yellow for the defender. Will Becks shoot or cross?

9:19am: Shot into the wall. When's the last time Becks hit a good free kick for England? Guesses? Guesses?

9:20am: Whitley picks up a yellow after chopping down Gerrard. Another Becks free kick. He goes far post this time, but it's poor and Crouch can't do much with it. Hey, is it just me, or is Becks' hair pretty boring for this World Cup? He usually brings something new to the table for a big tournament. I'm disappointed.

9:22am: Here's the problem when England plays Crouch: all England's midfielders look to do is hit it long to him. There's no impetus to pass throughout midfield. My boy Myles Palmer from Arsenal News Review said today the England are playing Gerard Houllier Liverpool football, just hitting it long and hoping for the best. Hard to disagree there. This game is already begging for Rooney.

9:26am: T&T seems content to sit back and absorb the England "attack." They are certainly not having to work nearly as hard as they did Saturday against Sweden. England's attack is so inept that they aren't giving Hislop nearly the the amount of work he had against Sweden.

9:30am: O'Brien and Balboa are talking about the US team. How come ESPN's announcers feel compelled to talk about the US for 10 minutes every game? What are they going to talk about after Saturday when the US is mathematically eliminated?

9:34am: How come Lampard is the only England player who will take cracks at goal? He came relatively close with a 25 yarder. I guess Gerrard fires away as well, but when he plays for England his shots seem to end up in Row Z.

9:36am: Wow! T&T comes awfully close with a header off of a Yorke corner. England are very lucky to still be tied. T&T has been much more dangerous on set pieces than England. In fact, England hasn't been more dangerous in any aspect of the game. Hey, wasn't T&T supposed to be one of the weakest teams in the World Cup? England can make anyone look good!

9:39am: Another good chance off of a set piece for T&T, as Jones comes close. The England fans are mighty quiet!

9:41am: An England long ball actually almost leads to a goal. Owen laid one off to Lampard, who misses high. Apparently Gerrard's errant shooting is rubbing off on Lampard now.

9:42am: Yikes. I've said it once, I've said it again. Crouch is not good enough to be starting for England. Becks sends him in a perfect cross. He's alone in the middle of the box. And his volley is nowhere close. But England is looking better.

9:45am: Incredible. T&T chips one into the box, it's headed towards the goal, Robinson is caught in no man's land, and Terry has to save it off the goal line. Spectacular stuff from Terry, but horrible play from England. T&T should be a goal to the good.

9:47am: Can we fire Sven at halftime?

9:49am: Halftime. Groans all around from the England fans. Not a good first 45 for the Three Lions, to say the least. If I was a smoker, I'd be lighting up right about now. And drinking too.

10:04am: The second half is underway. How do you imagine Sven's team talk went at the break? "Good job, lads. Keep it up! This is my kind of football!"

10:07am: England just can't do a thing down the right side. Beckham has zero speed. Carragher is trying hard, but he's a centerback playing out of position at right fullback. The only ideas England can come up with come from the Cole brothers down the left.

10:09am: Say hi to Posh!

10:11am: This game is putting me to sleep. Rooney is warming up. That's the most exciting thing I've seen all day. This game is begging for Rooney, and some speed. But does Sven have the stones to put in Walcott or Lennon?

10:12am: Jones has another good opportunity for T&T, and Terry saves the day. England is starting to get caught on the counterattack.

10:14am: Rooney is on the sidelines getting instructions from Sven. The fans are chanting his name. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

10:15am: Becks hits a beautiful free kick that Owen heads just wide. Great chance for England.

10:16am: ROOOOONEY!!! The talismanic young striker comes on for the ineffective Owen, who makes another very early exit. The speedy, young Lennon also comes on, replacing Carragher. England go to three in the back, and Rooney is on! Sven knows he needs three points. This should be fun.

10:20am: Lennon and Rooney have already done more running in three minutes than anyone else has for England all game. But T&T is defending very deep.

10:22am: England is living dangerously in the back, with basically only Terry and Ferdinand in the back at times with Ashley Cole pushing forward. England is really going for it.

10:25am: England's midfield is looking for Rooney a little too much now. You can't blame them, really, since he's England's only real dangerous guy out there.

10:27am: O'Brien tells us that Rooney had a long goalscoring drought during qualification. O'Brien really doesn't understand Rooney, does he? What a clown.

10:28am: Becks crosses to Crouch, but in a recurring theme, his header misses the net. You can't score if you don't hit the net. Right? I remember someone saying that once.

10:29am: 20 minutes left. I'm not feeling confident that we'll see a goal today. The English press will want Sven's head on a platter if England doesn't win this game.

10:33am: Well, it's nice to see that Sven has reverted to his typical bonehead substitution pattern. Downing is on for Joe Cole, who was by far England's best player today.

10:35am: Let's take a moment to give some credit to T&T's centerbacks, who have played very well today. I have done some research and found out that their names are Dennis Lawrence and Brent Sancho.

10:37am: Lampard misses again. He's had a number of very good chances today. But he just isn't putting them on the net.

10:42am: GOAL!!!! Crouch FINALLY gets on the end of a superb Beckham cross. It only takes one, and England finally converts. Crouch used his size to head over the top of Sancho and back across Hislop. Hislop had no chance. No robot dance, sadly.

10:44am: The pressure is off now just a bit. There's about five minutes left, and T&T haven't threatened goal much in the second half. The Soca Warriors look very tired.

10:47am: Rooney hasn't done much since coming on, but he's still had a tremendous impact just being out there. If I had to choose, I'd take an unfit Rooney over an unfit Owen any day.

10:49am: GOAL!!!! Gerrard sends England into the Round of 16 with a wonderfully taken strike with his left foot, no less. T&T, painfully tired, had backed off England a lot. England took advantage.

10:50am: The scoreline will be flattering for England. Make no mistake, England is lucky to be winning this game.

10:51am: Stern John puts one past Robinson, but he was a half yard offside.

10:52am: There's the whistle, and England has won. The Three Lions are on to the Round of 16 in most unimpressive fashion. But, a win is a win, and England will still be atop Group B at the end of the day.

So, that wraps up our coverage of England-T&T for today. We hope you enjoyed our running diary. I had fun. Perhaps I'll try it again soon. Look for more thoughts tonight in our daily "Cup Crazy" feature.

Photos courtesy fifaworldcup.yahoo.com, yahoo.com, and boatingtodaytv.com. Send us your thoughts at bookableoffense@gmail.com.