Around the World in 14 Days - Part I

A lot of readers write in to ask two questions. Number 1 is, "Where would you go watch games this week if we had all the money in the world?" Number 2 is, "How soon can you post something non-Arsenal related?"

In order to satisfy both of these legitimate inquiries, I have set out a schedule for the next two weeks of the ultimate football-watching experience. I have, however, laid some ground rules.

One, money is no object. Two, jetlag is no object. Three, only one game per country. Four, only one game per team. Five, no Arsenal games.

So let's take a look at the perfect way to spend the first half of the ultimate two-week experience.

Day 1 - Tuesday, 19 September
Colo-Colo vs. Bolognesi in Chile

I had to start the dream trip off with a jaunt down to South America. This match features one of Chile's best supported clubs, taking on a rising power in Peruvian football in the Copa Sudamericana. I know what you're thinking: Who wants to see one of Jonny Walker's old teams take on spaghetti sauce in the Latin equivalent of the UEFA Cup? Try thinking about a 24-time league winner and one-time Libertadores winner taking on spaghetti sauce.

Well, at least with the early flight the next morning, you won't have time to wonder what the hell you're doing there.

Games missed: Round 2 of Carling Cup in England, Round 3 of Scottish Cup, and Nacional vs Libertad in Montevideo (if it had been Penarol, I'd have been all over it).

Day 2 - Wednesday, 20 Sept.
Roma vs. Inter in Italy

Do I have your attention this time?

This fixture pits the two leading favorites to win the Scudetto against one another and is packed with stars. Can Totti be contained by Cambiasso and Vieira? Can Ricardo Faty (real name) please make an appearance for Roma? Which of Inter's strikers (Ibrahimovic, Crespo, Adriano, Julio Cruz, and Alvaro Recoba) will start and test Alexandre Doni in net, and can they get what looks to be a dominant offense rolling against the capital city side?

Wow. Can't wait.

Games missed: Liverpool vs Newcastle, more Carling and Scottish Cup, and Corinthians vs Vasco de Gama.

Day 3 - Thursday, 21 Sept.
Flamengo vs Cruzeiro in Brazil

Two teams with rich histories, and a stadium with even more history. Maracana in Rio de Janeiro is a legitimate cathedral of the game. Said to have once held 200,000 fans for matches, the home of Flamengo is known for having an incomparable atmosphere. It was built for the 1950 World Cup (won by Uruguay against Brazil in the final) and will be a central feature of the upcoming campaign to host the tournament again in 2014. Complete with its own museum and footprints of famous national team stars in the pavement out front, you won't forget a trip to Maracana any time soon.

Games missed: El Nacional vs Universidad de Sucre (hard to pass on seeing the University of Sugar in action, but you have to make tough choices in this exercise) in the Copa Sudamericana and the New Zealand Knights vs Sydney FC (without Dwight Yorke, there isn't the same pull, you know?).

Day 4 - Friday, 22 Sept.
Estudiantes de la Plata vs Independiente in Argentina

Since we're already down that way, why not jump over to the home of Los Pincharratas to see Juan Sebastian Veron and Co. take on Independiente? Estudiantes are already six points off of the pace set by Boca Juniors, and will desperate for a good result against a team above them in the table. Independiente is one of the most storied teams in South American soccer with 7 Copa Libertadores trophies proudly on display. These two squads should put on quite a show- not bad for a Friday night fixture.

Games missed: Borussia Monchengadblach (too hard to spell) vs Dortmund and NAC Breda vs Willem II Tilberg.

Day 5 - Saturday, 23 Sept.
Celtic vs Rangers in Scotland

In terms of local derbies, the Old Firm never seems to disappoint. The chance to see these two perennial powers battling at Celtic Park is just too good to pass up.

While Hearts have thrown their hat into the ring as of late for control of the Scottish Premier League, this fixture still has the makings of the deciding factor between which Glasgow power will wind up on top come May.

Warning: Not for the light-hearted, leave the women and children at home.

Games missed: Liverpool vs Tottenham and Lyon vs Lille.

Day 6 - Sunday, 24 Sept.
Kashima Antlers vs FC Tokyo in Japan

Despite the funny name, or maybe because of it, Kashima boasts some of the best fans in the J League. The atmosphere against FC Tokyo should be incredible. Each club features two members of Japan's World Cup team and always play in front of spirited supporters. For some historical perspective, Kashima was formed in 1991 as a founding member of the new J League, and already a year later the team announced its official song (couldn't find a link), which propelled the club to its first title the following season. In fact, in the next ten seasons, they only had three trophy-less campaigns. FC Tokyo has had nowhere near as much success- in all likelihood do to its apparent lack of an official song.

Games missed: Newcastle vs Everton and Barcelona vs Valencia (but think about the sushi and sake before the game in Japan).

Day 7 - Monday, 25 Sept.
Portsmouth vs Bolton

Literally the only game in town. I don't know what else to tell you. At the time of writing, Pompey leads the Premiership (that is not a typo). And you've always heard nice things about the South East coast, right? Maybe Anelka will throw his first tantrum or Sam Allardyce will tell us who he is talking to every day with that ridiculous headset of his. Actually, in light of recent allegations in the BBC investigation, we now know that Big Sam is bribing his way up the table!

The worst news is, due to rule three, this is the only stop in England....

Games missed: Atlanta vs New Orleans on Monday Night Football.

Stay tuned for the second half of the trip....

Photos courtesy yahoo.com, scotweb.co.uk, teamtalk.com, and Bryce's personal collection. Get in on the good times at bookableoffense@gmail.com.